Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Earlier this year, my friend Jesse made a comment about wanting to get more autographs of World War II veterans.  That conversation led to him remarking that he had a deck of Rosie the Riveter playing cards and wanted to get a few of them signed.  I commented that my grandmother was part of that Rosie the Riveter program during the War.  I liked the idea of getting one of the cards signed.  I took the idea a step further and found two cards showing Ebbetts Field.  I wanted them signed by Grandma since she attended Game 3 of the 1949 World Series. 

Grandma understood the request and signed cards.for Jesse and I, and included an inscription on the Ebbets ones "1949 World Series".  She signed them nicely.  I kept the cards to myself, not posting them on my Instagram, not counting them among my TTMs.  I filed them away with the thought that I'd find a good time to post them and talk some more about Grandma, who appeared on this blog a few times.  She did read it from time to time, but had over 3,000 books on her Kindle to keep her busy.  She also had her puzzles.

Grandma fell in May, not too long before the cards were signed.  She tore a muscle in her leg, and at her age (97), that was as bad as breaking a hip.  Fiercely independent up until that fall, Grandma was moved into a full-time assisted living facility.  Things went downhill from there. A bout with COVID only slowed her down, but she then contracted pneumonia.  That really beat her down ti the post where she knew the end was near.

In October, we knew time was getting short, so the family descended upon the Clemmons, NC assisted living facility, and almost all of my huge family was able to keet with Grandma and achieve some semblance of closure before the inevitable occurred.

The fear that we would lose her quickly had me drop what I was doing on a Wednesday evening in October.  I left work and headed across the state, leaving Mal and Chris at home.  Mal was able to meet me in Clemmons that Friday, but Chris was unable to come since he had school and work.  I sat with Grandma for a few hours each day from that Wednesday night, to that Sunday.  When Sunday came, I knew I had to go home, and i was afraid that would be the last time I'd see Grandma.  I had her one on one that day, so we sat and had a deep discussion about living and dying, what she felt, what she saw; things like that.  I told her that I believed that I'd still see her in my dreams long after she had gone, and she said "Well, that's possible.  I'll let you know."

One of the things I had to do before I left was move her from her wheelchair to her recliner so she could take a nap.  As I assisted her from chair to chair, she grabbed hold of me as she settled into her recliner.  She said, "Since I have you here, parting is such sweet sorrow. You've been a great grandson. I've lived a long life and did some good things and some things I regret." So, I asked her "Grandma, what do you regret?"  She mentioned how she regretted not pursuing her education further beyond some post graduate study, since back then, ordinary women didn't really go that far in education.  I told her "Grandma, you want to know something? You were far from ordinary." We hugged and cried together, and she gave me a kiss.  I had to leave, then, and turned to look at her one last time, as she wiped her eyes.

THANKFULLY, that wasn't the last time I saw Grandma.  That next weekend, Chris was off from work, so I made a point to get him up to see Grandma.  She was being served dinner, but wasn't interested in eating it.  She had her lunch that she hadn't finished, and would rather have had that.  She offered her dinner to Chris, so the two of them had an impromptu dinner date.  I tucked behind them and gave them some time together.  She and Chris had their own conversation of closure, which I was so glad Chris was able ti have.

I was asleep at my parents farm, with plans to have Thanksgiving dinner at my brother Andy's house.  My cell phone rang at 8:15 AM, which woke me up.  I looked and saw Andy was calling; I figured he needed me to pick up something for the dinner.  Instead, he told me "Grandma passed away this morning".  She had been in a lot of pain, but her paid had now been relieved. It didn't hit me for a few minutes, but when it did, I howled. She had been the matriarch of our family.  A pillar of fierce independence. A super classy woman wish a wicked sense of humor.  She did so many things in her 97 years.  She was far from ordinary.

I learned one final thing when I slept and dreamt Thursday night.  Grandma kept her promise.

Rest in peace, Grandma.  You are already missed by so many, but you will live forever in our stories, in our memories and in our dreams.

Eleanore Christine Herchet Regenthal 1/8/1927 - 11/28/2024.